


free and young and we can feel none of it

by aceofdiamonds



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-24
Updated: 2015-03-24
Packaged: 2018-03-19 08:25:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3603192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aceofdiamonds/pseuds/aceofdiamonds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>an au where percy dies instead of leo in the battle against gaea and how nico tries to help annabeth cope with all of it. an au where nico knows too much about grief and doesn’t want anyone to go through it alone like he did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	free and young and we can feel none of it

**Author's Note:**

> so leo didn't die but he's away with calypso somewhere so he's not present in this. title is from sedated by hozier.

 

 

 

Irony is something Nico never really got. Or maybe it’s because he’s always seen it more as cruelty. The idea that just as things seem to be going okay everything crashes down. It’s something he’s becoming used to.

It’s hard getting used to something that hurts more and more every time.

He’s standing over by the lake as Piper, Leo, and Jason defeat Gaea and all her monsters combust on the ground around them. The three of them make it back down, everything is going great, Nico is cautiously thinking yeah, maybe they’ve won, and oh, maybe they’ve all come out the other side relatively unscathed. He's thinking about going to find Reyna, see how she's organising the Romana now she's back in control, when --

“Is that screaming?” Piper asks, turning her head over to the cabins. There’re are still so many people wandering around, most looking unsure if the battle is over or not. A Roman boy pauses on his way past, cocks his head to listen too. “Think so, yeah, someone you know?”

Nico can hear it now, too. It’s a girl screaming, someone he knows, and then he’s running up the hill, ducking and swerving between campers and gods and centaurs and Jason is right on his heels, the other two not far behind.

“ _Hazel_.”

But that’s not what’s going on here. Hazel’s arm is bleeding but other than that she seems fine, instead she is crouched next to a figure on the ground, and there’s Annabeth too, running her hands over the person’s face, frantic as more and more blood pools around them. He thinks she might be the one who screamed but now she’s quiet, trying everything she can to stem the wound. Nico takes a step forward, looking desperately for Frank because otherwise this is --

“Percy,” Annabeth sobs, her hand pressing at the wound in his chest. “Come on, you promised you wouldn’t do this, remember? You _promised_.”

“This wasn’t in my plan,” he says, voice broken, barely audible over the continued clear-up around them. How has everyone not noticed that their leader is dying. How have they not noticed the earth wobbling on its axis. Nico takes another step forward. “Nic --” he coughs, blood spurting onto his t-shirt. Annabeth wipes it with a trembling hand. She glances up at Nico, eyes wide, because if anyone can do anything to stop this it’s him, isn’t it? He’s the one with the connection to the Underworld, come on, make a deal with his dad. Percy coughs again before Nico can come up with anything to say. “Think I’ll -- ah -- make it to Elysium?”

He wants to say that he’s not going to have to worry about that for years yet, that he has a long life ahead of him with Annabeth, and that he’ll die peacefully in his sleep one day, but the bleeding isn't stopping, it looks like there’s a second gash at his left side, and as his breathing grows shallower his face is getting paler and paler. “Of course, Percy.”

There’s something of a smile. “Thanks.” He reaches for Annabeth, his arm sluggish as he touches her face. Her arm is bent at an unnatural angle and there’s blood on her back soaking through her t-shirt but right now she’s leaning into Percy and Nico’s heart aches, pulling him back to when he lost his sister, how it had felt like the world had been wrenched from him.

“I love you, Annabeth,” Percy is saying, his words slurring together, “and I’m sorry -- so sorry -- my mom, can you tell her?”

  


.

  


Percy Jackson dies on the first of August, seventeen days before his eighteenth birthday. He dies a hero on the battlefield after aiding the battle against Gaea but how much does that count for when someone dies so young.  

  


.

  


Percy's body is burned along with the others who died during the battle. Kian, an Aphrodite son, Lucy from the Hephaestus cabin, and Anna and Cameron from Hermes, are the only other fatalities, not including Romans, but there were many casualties, the majority of the mourners are propped up on canes, leaning on other campers, packs pressed to their heads as the doses of ambrosia take effect.

Nico swallows around the thick air, leaning into the weight of Hazel's arm against him as she cries quietly. Annabeth sits in the row in front with Piper. Piper’s hand moves in circles across the small of Annabeth’s back. The wound has been cleaned and healed but the shirt is still covered in blood. She refuses to change. Nico can’t blame her.

A deafening noise follows the smoke and everyone turns towards the lake where a jet of water is bubbling and shooting into the air. It continues for a minute or two until a deep voice echoes over the camp. "I interrupt the ceremony for just a moment. All fine warriors lost today, my son among them. I offer condolences to all and my gratitude to those who fought with us. It will not be forgotten.”

Nico wonders what you have to do to get your godly parent to talk at your funeral when half the camp haven’t been claimed even now. Saving the world a couple of times probably does it. Nico’s never met Poseidon, hasn’t heard great things about him but isn’t the case with every god, really, and this speech makes him respect him a little more than he thought he ever would.

  


.

  


The camp gets cleaned up. Dionysus comes back, grumbling and huffing the whole time, but the first night back he stands in front of everyone and thanks them for their help, he's glad they protected camp even though it means he has to finish his sentence, and then he orders everything to go back normal, and people try.

Connor and Travis lead the clean-up efforts, cheering up the campers with games as they clear up the bodies of the monsters, rebuild the Hypnos cabin which was crushed completely. And slowly, bit by bit, the camp begins to resemble what it was once. Kian, Lucy, Anna, Cameron, and Percy’s absence beats stronger around them every day but on the exterior, the camp is together.

  


.

  


Three weeks later and the sun is unrelenting. Nico glares at the black walls of his cabin, blames them for the heat. He shrugs off his jacket and lies back down. If Hazel was here he would have someone to share this space with but she’s headed back to Camp Jupiter, apologies in her hug but they need to try and get everyone settled again, sort out their resources, figure out the damage Octavian caused in his short reign. With Hazel gone, he rolls off his bed and heads outside, foolishly hoping it will be a little cooler out there.

“Hey, Nico,” Piper calls over from the gardens surrounding the Aphrodite cabin. “Enjoying the heat?”

“Of course he’s not,” Jason says, winking at him from his position by the flowerbed. He has a dusting of dirt in his hair and when Piper reaches down and brushes it off he grins, unashamed. “Where are you going, Nico?”

“Just down to the beach -- thought it might be cooler down there.”

“I wouldn’t bet on it,” Piper replies, pushing her fringe back off her face. She picks out a set of pink geraniums, tilts them from side to side to make sure they’re adequate. “Why don’t you put a pair of shorts on?” she asks, not glancing up from the plants. She whispers fiercely to a droopy stem, nodding when it immediately rights itself. “Might help you a little.”

But Nico feels comfortable in his jeans, safe. “Maybe later.” He wonders if he should ask them if they want to come with, Piper’s always saying she loves to surf, but he doesn’t really want to, not right now, so he nods his goodbye and leaves them to it.

It’s busy down by the water. A group of Hephaestus kids have set up a miniature submarine that can shuttle three campers to the middle of the lake and back just under the surface of the water and over by the rocks some of Athena’s children are making maps big enough to sail a boat. Nico by-passes everyone and makes his way further along the shore to a secluded spot.

He stretches his legs out, props himself up on his elbows, and closes his eyes. If he focuses hard enough on the sounds the water makes as it hits the sand his heart stops beating so fast and he feels almost calm. It’s still way too hot but he was right, there’s a slight breeze by the water. It’s bearable.

Twenty minutes later he feels a shadow drop over him. He opens one eye to see Annabeth standing above him, her hands on her hips.

“Annabeth.”

“Hi, Nico,” she says quietly, too quietly. “Mind if I sit?”

“It’s not my beach,” he says, and then wishes he hadn’t because if it was anyone’s beach it was Percy’s, and, well, he’s dead. But Annabeth doesn’t comment on it, just folds herself up as small as she can and watches the submarine full of Hephaestus kids chug back and forth. The sounds of their laughter feels far away, like it’s another world. Nico wonders if there are parallel universes out there -- if there’s one where he didn’t skip decades, where he was able to be who he wanted to be, with a boyfriend and a mom and a normal dad and two sisters who weren’t dead, one where everyone lived forever and his dad was out of a job. It’s a childish thought but when your dad is Hades and you’ve recently helped stop Mother Nature from destroying the earth you believe anything can happen.

“We were going to live in New Rome together,” Annabeth says after a while. She turns her head on her knees to look at Nico. There’s something so completely and utterly blank about her expression that Nico wishes for any sort of emotion to break through, anything at all, because that seems like it would be better than this. As though hearing him she gives a sad smile, sighing. “Stupid now, thinking that would be it. There’s always something, isn’t there.”

It’s right on the tip of Nico’s tongue to say that line, the one that helps absolutely no one, that Percy was doing what he loved when he died, that he died a hero, because Nico could quite honestly say that Percy didn’t love fighting monsters, he never asked for that. Percy loved Annabeth and Grover and Hazel and Frank and everyone and now he’s dead, alone down in Elysium, so fuck dying as a hero, fuck dying at all.

He doesn’t say all this. He doesn’t think he could. “What are you going to do?”

Annabeth blinks. This is maybe the first time someone has asked her that. There has to be life after, she’s realising, and when you fill it trying to bring them back, well, Nico is the first one to say that isn’t the best thing to do. “I never got to finish Olympus,” she says quietly, turning her gaze to the water. “I have school,” she tries. “Is this when we go back to normal?”

“I don’t think we’ll ever get that,” Nico says. “Half-bloods, remember?”

“This life used to be so great. Sure there was danger but it was something to do, there was a purpose to it all. I don’t know why I ever thought that. We never asked for this.”

Nico knows Annabeth loves who she is. He knows that she doesn’t get on great with Athena but that she wouldn’t trade it for the world. She’s never told him this but he’s known her since he was ten -- as long as he’s known Percy, he forgets that sometimes -- and he can tell she wouldn’t be as happy anywhere else. Not yet.

“Maybe you should take a break from all of this for a while,” he suggests. “Go some place where there isn’t so much of him around you.”

“That’s what I like about this place. You can find parts of him everywhere. I can’t imagine leaving. Not right now.”

Nico lifts a shoulder in a shrug. “It’s up to you. Just an idea.”

A silence grows around them. Nico closes his eyes, going back to the meditation from before Annabeth had joined him.

“I might go and visit my dad,” she says. “San Francisco’s right on the coast; I’ll be close to Percy over there too. Maybe you’re right -- so much of him, not being able to breathe, it can be suffocating.”

“If it doesn’t work you can always come back. Piper and Jason will be here.”

“And you,” Annabeth adds. “You were part of this, too, Nico.”

Yeah. He was. He forgets that sometimes.  
  


.

  


“Nico, I want you to take me to the Underworld to see Percy.”

Nico looks up from his pudding, swallows hard. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea, Annabeth.”

"I've been down there before, Nico!" she shouts. Kids at the next table look over, slightly alarmed. Annabeth waves them off with a grimace, dropping into the seat beside Nico and lowering her voice. "I know what it's like, okay? I can handle it."

But it's all very well visiting the Underworld when the only person you know is Hades who pretty much hates you. That’s a straightforward enough visit. When you want to go down and talk to someone you’ve lost in the world of the living? Again, Nico has experience of this, hells he’s lived there, and he does not recommend it.

“I’ll see what I can do,” he says quietly, and he does. He talks to his dad who lets a flicker of sympathy pass over his face before he shakes his head and says there’s nothing he can do, this is no place for those with a beating heart and air in their lungs. Hades looks at Nico then and yeah, this time he gets the irony. Nico doesn’t push harder because he knows this isn’t really what Annabeth wants. What she needs is to know that Percy is coping down here and that he misses her. She needs the nudge to remind her that Percy isn’t living but she is and she can’t waste that, not when she has so much to do.

So Nico heads back to New York, finds Annabeth in the park across from her school, and says, “I’m sorry.”

“Can you do anything?” she asks coldly but he knows this is the grief talking and so he stays where he is, folding the sleeves of his jacket back over his wrists.

“Annabeth, you need to try and remember your life before Percy disappeared. Olympus needs you, your dad needs you, the campers need you. I know how hard this is, trust me I know, but once you realise that you have things to do it can be easier.”

Annabeth exhales, tips her head back against the bench. She blinks rapidly. “Gods, Nico, I know you’re right. I’m sorry for snapping. I just -- he was invincible. I never considered this as a possibility. If anything I expected me to die before the end.”

“Not you,” Nico says quietly. “You’re indestructable.”

“Not quite.”

“Well, try pretending for now. It speeds up the process.”

Annabeth watches him out of the corner of her eyes. “How do you know all this?”

The truth is simple. “I’ve lost a lot of people in my life.”

Her face softens. “I’m sorry, Nico. For not being -- friendly.”

Maybe he should say it’s fine, don’t bother, he had gotten used to it, but instead he lifts a shoulder in a distasteful shrug. “Thanks.”

"And thank you for helping me and for calling me out when I'm losing my mind."

"I just don't want you to do what I did. No one else needs to get hurt."

There's something like a smile then, sad and regretful. "I should get back. I have a ton of homework. You ever thought about school?"

It makes him feel so much older than fourteen when he thinks about education and homework and how little that has to do with his life. Math isn't going to help him when he's negotiating with Minas about blood treaties and their value in the Underworld. "Not right now. Maybe one day."

And that gets a laugh that makes him glad he said it. "I could help you out, you know, if you ever decide you want to."

"Yeah. I'd appreciate that."

Nico stays on the bench for a while after Annabeth has left. Maybe they're friends now.

  


.

  


Nico finds Percy five and a half weeks after his death. He probably should have looked for him sooner but he’s been grieving, too, and he thinks chatting to the deceased may not be that helpful.

He waves to Charon at the main gates, weaves through the line of people waiting for judgement. When he's passed Cerberus he pulls a candy bar out of his pocket and eats it in three bites as he makes his way across to the gates of Elysium. It's a bittersweet area, full of heroes who died honourably but too young. There are a few older people who had stepped in to save their students but the majority living in these houses should be in school or college, giving up their futures for causes they all believed to be fantasy stories once upon a time.

“Nico! Over here!”

Percy’s on a park bench near the centre of Elysium. As Nico walks over to him he looks for any differences to the Percy he knew in life but there are none, the only change is the absence of blood and gaping wounds on his chest which Nico is extremely grateful for. He’s not squeamish, can’t afford to be in this line of living, but the image of Percy’s body on the ground is a hard one to forget. He finds himself being shamefully glad he never saw Bianca’s body when she died if only because he would still be trying desperately to get it out of his mind. He hasn’t been able to find her down here despite looking long and hard so the Bianca he remembers is one that was eager and excited to join Artemis’s Hunt, hugging him goodbye and promising to see him soon.

He forces himself to focus on Percy. “Hi, Percy. I was meaning to come sooner but --” _I couldn’t handle it_ he keeps to himself.

“Don’t worry about it,” he says easily. “I was hoping you would come but I wasn’t really expecting it -- you’re my link to the living, Nico.”

“Yeah, I guess I am.” It’s a heavy burden, one Nico doesn’t know he would choose for himself if he had ever been given the option.

“How’s Annabeth?"

"As well as you would expect," Nico replies after a second of hesitation. "She's trying."

"I always kind of thought this would happen. Annabeth and I had been talking about our future in New Rome and a half hour later I'm dead. Probably jinxed it. This damn world always did have it in for me."

"You lasted a lot longer than Dionysus thought you would," and maybe it's callous to say but Percy's been dodging death since he set foot in Camp Half-Blood. Nico wouldn’t be surprised if the gods had a bet going on how long Percy Jackson would last. He wonders who won. “I think he even got your name right.”

“He must be euphoric,” Percy snorts. “I’ve seen Castor here a couple of times. Poor kid. He says it feels like he’s lost his left arm now he’s not with Pollux every second of the day. Guess I can thank the gods I’m not a twin.”

“Or Mr D’s son,” Nico says lightly. "Your dad spoke at your funeral."

"Yeah?" Percy says, his eyes wide, surprised. "Man, I never thought of him. Maybe he went to see my mom -- dead kids make parents talk to each other, don’t they?”

“I wouldn’t know,” Nico says honestly. “You’re the only one where I’ve met your mortal parent. Everyone else is a mystery.”

“I hope my mom’s coping. Fuck.” He drops his head onto his clasped hands. “I promised her I would come home safe.”

“You couldn’t have known this would happen, Percy. You can’t blame yourself.”

“I could have turned my back on it all. I could have stayed at home with her,” but they both know this is a lie, this could never have happened. Percy belonged in this world even if it did make his life tragically short. He couldn’t have said no when his help was needed.

“Your mom won’t blame you,” Nico says, and hopes that’s the right thing to say. He can’t really remember his mother, apart from a whiff of perfume when he walks through department stores. He doesn’t know what’s worse -- to be left by your mother’s death or to die without saying goodbye to her. They’re both equally awful.

"Being dead is so boring," Percy says a few moments later, a childish whine creeping into the end. "Which is something I'm really coming to appreciate, actually."

"I'm so glad," Nico says dryly. Last week a stray Minotaur had shown up right outside the boundary line of Camp. If a camper had wandered out absentmindedly, well, it's a good thing so many people were quick to answer Piper's shout. "What do you do all day? Sleep?"

“Yeah. That, and reminisce about being alive.”

“That’s a bit morbid.”

“It’s kinda hard to stop,” Percy says, frowning. They both watch a couple of older demigods stroll past hand in hand. “Think I should give it another round? Aim for the Isles?”

Nico sometimes thinks that the Isles of the Blest are overrated and that he’d much spend eternity lying in the Elysium paradise but then he thinks about Bianca up there living her life again and he knows he’ll probably try and live for as long as he can, as many times as he can. He thinks this is what Percy should do, too. Percy deserves a second go of the world,  or, maybe, the world deserves a second go with Percy Jackson. “I’ll put in a good word with my dad,” he says. “Though I can’t promise that won’t make things worse.”

Percy gives a sharp laugh that doesn’t contain anything. “I’ve got a while to think about it. Gods, Nico, it’s only been a couple of weeks and I’m going out of my mind. I know I said the quiet life’s good but only for a while, you’ve gotta give me something to do.”

There’s a gym a couple of blocks away, a coffee shop on the next street over, a park right across from where they’re sitting, but none of these are what Percy wants or needs. “What can I do?”

“Can you -- I dunno, go visit my mom?.”

Sally Jackson once looked at Nico like he was someone she wanted to look after after only seeing him for a minute. True he then took her son away to become invincible, something that tragically didn’t help when it was most needed, but he hopes that sentiment will still be there. “Yeah, I can do that. I could see if Annabeth will come with me?”

Percy averts his gaze suddenly, his head tilted back towards the sky. It’s artificial, obviously, fluffy clouds and an ever-present sun masking the storm that covers the rest of the Underworld, but Nico waits patiently for Percy to collect himself. It takes a few minutes. Nico doesn’t let himself think of the things Percy must be obsessing over; he’s always been the one left behind, never the one leaving, so he has no insight as to how such a guilt much feel.

Percy clears his throat. “They would both like that,” he mutters. “Nico, we’ve been through a lot together and I know I’ve never been the nicest to you, and I know you’ve never really warmed to me either, but I really appreciate you coming down here and doing this for me. You didn’t have to.”

“I didn’t have much choice in the matter,” Nico says honestly, and Percy might interpret that as pressure from Annabeth, Jason, or even Chiron, but at the heart of it all Nico’s feelings for Percy may have lessened considerably but they’ve never fully gone away and when someone who is a huge importance in your life, someone who you’ve looked up to since you were ten, is taken from you, it really doesn’t leave you with much option but to do whatever you can to see that person as much as possible. Nico happens to have the abilities to go beyond the grave, so to speak, which is far more than what most people have. Really, it’s almost completely selfish.

“I’ll see you again,” Percy says, voice lifting into a question. “I might go insane if I don’t have anyone to talk to.”

“You could make friends here,” Nico replies, tries not to think about Percy needing him. “You’re going to be here for a while.”

“See? That’s why I need you down here - you keep me straight. Man, what I wouldn’t give to just have one more day up there. Is there any chance I can go swimming?”

Nico gets to his feet. He needs to visit his father. “I wouldn’t recommend it,” he tells Percy. “You know the sort of water they have down here - you don’t need any more trouble.”

“Like I can ever avoid it,” he groans. “I’ll walk you out.”

  


.

  


“Percy’s settling in then,” he says to Hades half an hour later.

Hades sighs, long and drawn out. “I wouldn’t know. I avoid the heroes as much as possible.”

“You avoid everyone as much as possible, darling,” Persephone interjects.

“Can you blame me? They always think I’m the bad guy when I’m the one who set up this system which benefits _everyone_. This is all my brothers’ fault; they turned the world against me.”

Nico doesn’t disagree. Zeus’s a dick, everyone knows that. “Is there anything you need me to do?” he asks before Hades extends his rant.

“I’m thinking about getting a new guard for the gates.”

“Why would you replace Cerberus? Everyone's terrified of him."

"He's worried the three-headed dog is becoming gimmicky," Persephone says, clearly not agreeing. "People don’t keel over with shock so much anymore. Oh, sure, they’re scared, but it’s not enough to be terrified, they have be screaming and throwing themselves down to the judges, begging for their verdict just so they can escape the dog.”

“Wow,” Nico blinks. “A lot of thought has gone into this.”

Persephone rolls her eyes at him behind Hades back.

“Perhaps I could give Percy Jackson a job at the gates. Seeing his face would be enough to scare any newcomers to death. Ha,” he coughs a laugh at his pun, intended or not.

“Your jealousy of your brother is showing, darling,” Persephone says. “If you want to use a half-blood you should be looking at Hephaestus’s brood.”

Nico remembers Charles Beckendorf who was definitely not unattractive. He doesn’t offer this to the conversation, though. He and his father may be getting on at the moment but that doesn’t mean he’s ready for the gay conversation. Maybe in a few years.

“What was it you wanted?” Hades asks Nico after another few minutes of discussion ranking the gods beauty.

“Nothing,” he says, finding that to be the truth. “Just saying hello.” 

“There’s something off with that boy,” Hades mutters to Persephone as Nico is leaving. “Did you notice?”

“He’s upset about Percy Jackson,” Persephone replies, and Nico holds his breath, waits for her to drop his secret. “You know he looked up to him.” He exhales, relieved.

“I don’t see the fascination,” Hades says, then calls for a slave from the Fields of Punishment to be brought in. Conversation over.

  


.

  


“I could wait in the coffee shop across the street,” Nico says, just as they’re knocking the door of the Jacksons’ apartment, but Annabeth shakes her head, reaches out for a second as though to squeeze his arm before she pulls back.

“No, having spoken to Percy since -- um, yes, I think that might help.”

It’s Sally’s boyfriend that opens the door to them. He recognises Annabeth immediately, his face softening with the grief Nico has seen reflected around him almost every day since the beginning of August. This is different, though, this is familial grief, those who were nowhere the battlefield, but who feel a sort of guilt over letting them go on these quests in the first place. "Annabeth, it's good to see you."

"You too, Mr Blofis. This is Nico. I'm not sure you met him before."

"No, not yet. It's nice to meet you, Nico. Percy told me you were a big help."

"I did what I could, sir,” Nico says, and it sounds too much like apologizing, like pleading.

He nods once, mouth tight, and then he steps back to let them in. When Nico passes, he reaches out and squeezes his shoulder quickly, letting go before Nico can turn his head. It steadies him.

Percy’s mom is sitting on one end of the couch, her feet curled up under her and a mug clutched in her hands. She raises her head in greeting, smiling tiredly when she sees who it is. Nico takes in the circles under her eyes, the thin robe covering her shoulders, the way she looks to Annabeth like she’s hoping this is the time she’ll be told this is all a nightmare, a trick played by the gods, that Percy is fine.

Nico stands to the side, not sure of his place here, and averts his eyes when Annabeth’s voice cracks as she talks to Sally. He shouldn’t have come.

“Can I get you a drink, son?” Mr Blofis says, coming over to stand beside him. “Something to eat?”

He looks like the type of guy to say that to everyone he meets, the _son_ a natural way of addressing students at the school he teaches at, always finding some way to help them, but for Nico, this is a first. “No, thanks. I’m good. Uh, I should probably be heading off, lots to do.”

Before he can say much else Sally spots him and gestures for him to go over to her. Mr Blofis says in a low voice, “She’ll really appreciate you being here. Have you --” he breaks off for a second, clears his throat. “Have you spoken to Percy?”

Nico nods before he considers lying. “I went to see him last week. I thought I might be helpful, someone he knows. He feels really guilty for ...” _Dying_.

Mr Blofish’s hand finds his shoulder again, squeezes his thanks, and then gently nudges Nico over to Percy's mom.

"Oh, Nico," she breathes and then she pulls Nico against her, holding him close. He's grown an inch or two recently and Percy's mom isn't the tallest woman so his head is level with hers. He closes his eyes and leans into the scent hidden under all the grief: home. After a long while Sally pulls away, keeping hold of Nico by his elbows. "How is he?"

The answer's the same as when Percy asked. "He's trying. It's hard to adjust down there. Percy's not one for sitting still," he blurts like he knows him better than the rest of the people in this room.

"No," Sally agrees and then she laughs, a bubbly, watery sound. "Even when he was a baby he would be squirming around on the floor, looking for anything to entertain him."

Annabeth pushes out a laugh. "When we first met he was lying in bed with a broken arm."

Nico's never heard how Percy and Annabeth met before, he realises, but now he can picture it. Percy brand-new in this world and terrified but cocky with it and veteran Annabeth always ready to knock him down when he needed. With Grover too, it’s not hard to see why they became famous within the Greek world.

Sally tears up at the thought of Percy down in Elysium all alone and Nico finds himself promising he’ll take her message telling him not to feel guilty and that she loves him to him. When they leave half an hour later Annabeth walks with him as far as Central Park and then says she has something to do, cutting off to the tree he knows has some connection to Grover.

Nico takes a moment for the afternoon to wash over him and aches for Hazel. He needs his family, too.

  


.

  


“I’m warning you,” Nico tells Percy. “It might not work.”

He nods, batting Nico’s hand out of the way. He peers into the pool expectantly, leaning all the way over. Nico resists reaching out and taking a hold of his shirt. He won’t fall in. “And you told Annabeth?”

“Yeah. She should be waiting. I had to call in a favour with Iris and she wasn’t too happy about it so the connection might be shaky.”

But Percy’s face lights up and when Nico cranes his neck to see over too he sees Annabeth’s reflection in the water. “Annabeth. Hi.”

“Hey, Percy,” she says quietly, like she can’t believe this is happening. When Nico had told her he thought he might be able to orchestrate this she had hugged him, holding him tight for a few seconds before letting go, her face flushed and happy. “How are you?”

“Forget about me,” Percy says impatiently. “Are you alright? Nico says you’ve been working on Olympus, how’s it going?”

“I think I’m almost finished. I mean, the gods are demanding all these changes but they’ll be happy when it’s done I’m sure.”

“You know half of them aren’t right in the head,” Percy says. “I bet it’s great. How’s Grover?”

“He’s been weak for a while because of the empathy link but he’s going to be okay. He and Blackjack are spending a lot of time together. I think he wants to take him home with him and Jupiter.”

Percy smiles, proud. This is what he’s been worrying about, Nico sees. He doesn’t mind being dead any more. Sure, it sucks but this is what he was born for, really. And now he’s seeing the people he left behind are coping, see it with his own eyes not via Nico, he can relax. “I miss you,” he tells Annabeth, softly because Nico is right there.

“I miss you too, Seaweed Brain. When I said I would go to the same college as you I wasn’t expecting you to go to such extremes to get out of it so fast.”

Percy laughs then. It’s not broken, just a little cracked. “Well, now you can go wherever.”

“It won’t be the same,” and then she starts crying. “It’s so good to see you, Percy.”

“We can do this again,” Percy promises. “Can’t we?” he turns to Nico desperately. Nico nods. He’ll try.

“Try not to piss Hades off,” Annabeth says, wiping her eyes. “You’re in his domain down there.”

“Only if you promise to make Zeus so pissed he comes down here to blame me. I’ve missed that guy threatening to kill me - might be interesting when he realises he can’t.”

“You’re so dumb,” she says fondly. “I’ll do my best.”

“I love you, Annabeth,” Percy calls because Annabeth is going blurry fast, their time’s up. His hand splashes into the water when she disappears completely, swearing at every god he can remember.

Nico stands to the side, watching, and wonders if he’ll ever find someone like that. He should stop looking to the ones who are already dead and turn his attention to those he might have a chance with. He cradles the pain associated with Percy and his lack of feelings for Nico and his death for a few days more before letting it all go. It takes him a few hours to get used to the way his body doesn’t feel so heavy anymore, to the difference when he walks, his head free and his feet light.

  


.

  


Annabeth seeks him out towards the end of October. He hasn't taken her up on her school offer. It's not that he doesn't want to learn, he just figures it's been so long and he's missed so much, it'll be pointless going back. Maybe one day when he can think about something else other than the souls wandering around the Underworld and the power in his fingertips he'll pick up a pen and learn math. But for the moment he's one of the campers staying at Camp Half Blood year-round.

Chiron has set him up with a group to train in combat. The older kids eye him with scepticism and the younger ones are still scared of him but he perseveres. The first few sessions have a lot of stop-and-starts, kids purposely playing up, cackling gleefully when Nico swings too hard and hits a boy who had moved into the way on purpose. It’s not until their twelfth session, when a little girl from the Hermes cabin beats an Ares boy in under twenty seconds and she grins excitedly at Nico that Nico feels a swell of achievement. He sends her a thumbs up then switches up the partners, giving her a chance with a huge kid from Demeter’s cabin.

"Can I have a go next?" Annabeth asks, appearing beside him. "Athena versus Hades, how's that work out?"

"Hades is one of the Big Three," Jason points out, wandering over from his shrine area by the trees.

"So was Percy," Annabeth counters, "and that didn't stop me beating him with my eyes closed."

Annabeth wins but it’s close. Nico gets up from the ground and shakes her hand, spotting the gleam in her eyes that she always got when she was competing against someone. It hasn’t been seen in a while. “Why are you smiling?” she asks. “I won.”

So Nico ducks his head and says oh, it’s nothing, biting back his grin when Jason volunteers to go next. The campers Nico had been teaching create a circle around them, exhilarated by the previous fight between Nico and Annabeth. You would think they’d seen enough battles for a lifetime but this is how it is here. Bloody and competitive and always bettering the other cabins.

Jason wins but again, it’s just barely. Annabeth offers him a handshake, pulling back at the last second, laughing. “I’ll beat you next time,” she promises.

“I’ll be waiting,” Jason replies, swinging his sword in his hand. Liam from Demeter looks on with awe. Nico hides his smile by ducking his head, his hair shielding him. “Hey, Nico, come join us for dinner,” Jason says, Annabeth nodding beside him.

So Nico sits with Piper, Jason, and Annabeth that night at dinner. There’re are gaps in the conversation where Percy would jump in or Leo would set something on fire, but they’re not as noticeable as they were. They’re adapting to life without them. It’s hard but they’re managing.

Later, once the campfire has burned out and almost everyone has made their way to their cabins, Annabeth reaches out and catches Nico’s wrist, asking him to stay for a moment.

“I went to see Sally last week,” she starts. “She’s getting better. It’s like you said, if you pretend for long enough that you’re okay you start to believe it and then you look back and all this time has passed where you haven’t cried at all and all you can think of is the happy memories. I didn’t think I would ever reach this stage but I have.” She stops, takes a breath. “I know I haven’t asked how you’ve felt about all of this, Nico. I know you and Percy had your problems but I know you respected each other and this must have been difficult for you, too, especially with me asking you to go to the Underworld so many times. You’ve been great.”

“I would have done it for anyone,” Nico says, and maybe a few months this would have been something of a lie but now he feels like he belongs in this camp he’s pretty sure he’s telling the truth. “But I’m glad you’re going to be okay. We all are.”

  


.

  


Percy dies on the first of August, seventeen days before his eighteenth birthday, but his name goes down in history along with Achilles, Theseus, Ariadne, and countless others. He dies a hero.

  
  



End file.
